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 Shinigami Commandements
Raven
 Posted: Jul 14 2014, 04:21 AM
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Shinigami Commandments
- - - - - -
  1. Thou shall not get an Espada to give you a wax, more so if it uses a Zanpakutō.
  2. Zanpakutō are not back strachers.
  3. Thou shalt not refer to the kidō corps as "Spell Bitches"
  4. You shall not dare others to eat 12th Division test tubes.
  5. No, you cannot "take the kidō Cannon for a "spin".
  6. Thou shalt not bribe C46 to call upon the Onmitsukidou to exterminate your ex-wife.
  7. Thou shalt not refer to the Zanpakuto Spirit as "Cruise Control".
  8. Thou shall remember to swing Zanpakutos, Even if on "Curise Control"
  9. Thou shall not make gay references without 'no homo' being said.
  10. Thou shalt not let an 12th member be the designated driver.
  11. Thou shalt not train a 11th member to be a watchdog.
  12. Thou shalt not call Espada “hippie alter boys”.
  13. Thou shalt not throw a Espada a dog biscuit.
  14. Stop referring to 12th as the nerds. It may be true, but they also have poison and technology. Your call.
  15. Sho is an effective method of pushing enemies away, not for making allies 'travel fast'
  16. Humans are not moving targets. They are there for us to protect, not shoot at like red necks
  17. It is NOT cool to feed trainees copious amounts of narcotics!
  18. Rednecks do not count as humans, they are open season
  19. Thou shalt not say "hey, look what I can do!" while on earth. Bad things will happen soon after
  20. Thou shalt not refer to the 12 Division males as “Scotty”. Nor shall thou ask to be beamed up from earth.
  21. Thou shalt not 'haunt' the humans. Its hilarious, but not our job
  22. Thou shalt NEVER take the Steve Irwin approach to Espada; if they do not respond to external stimuli, do not attempt to poke it with a stick.
  23. Beware of Sting Rays.
  24. Thou shalt not hide around the corner and scare 5th division members. Seriously, they shoot lightning when startled.
  25. If you don't believe 24, try it.
  26. Lieutenant badges are not to be removed for use as ice-cream scoops.
  27. Thou shall not play monopoly with the quincy. They. Will. Win.
  28. Thou shalt not replace 4th divisions supplies with bouncy castles.
  29. Thou shalt not toss unseated members onto the kidō practice range. Trainees are more plentiful and are renewable.
  30. Thou shalt not duct tape over the emergency venting on the 12th division barracks Lest thou wishes to be the first shinigami in space.
  31. Thou shall not challenge an 11th division member to chess unless you want to get punched in the face in frustration and a broken chess board
  32. Thou shall not call a member of 11th "hulk". Even if they aren't green, they can still do the smashing part, and it will most likely be your head.
  33. Thou shall not send third division copies of one's buttocks. [c: Alistair]
  34. Thou shall not streak along seireitei, You will be treated as a experiment gone wrong by Division 12. [c: Alistair]
  35. Thou shall not refer to division 6 as voyuers. [c: Alistair]
  36. Thou shall not buy copious amounts of Boku no pico in the human world and plan them all over the captain's houses so you can drive them mad an take over the division. [c: Alistair]
  37. Thou shall not flash Division 12 (while they are doctors, they aren't those kinds of doctors) [c: Alistair]
  38. Thou shall not seek to befriend hollows. While they are lonely and sad creatures, their hugs involve that's disembodiment and kisses involve biting... all kinds of biting. [c: Keiri]
  39. Don't make the female Shinigami cry, it's not nice and they have Zanpakuto too. [c: Saelora]
  40. Do not ask a female captain if they get menopause... It would make hollows look like saints. [c: Keiri]
  41. Do not take hollows as pets. Research shown they only have one rule. "Everything is food, not friends." They are still investigating the origin of this rule, but studies show some correlation with fish... [c: Keiri]
  42. Don't eat the hell butterflies. Not even if they taste sweet! [c: Saelora]
  43. When a hollow asks if you want to see a magic trick, flee for your life and say no. [c:Keiri]
  44. Just following orders will not save you if you are caught putting hallucinogens in the captain commander's tea. [c: Saelora]
  45. Do not order your subordinates to put hallucinogens in the captain commander's tea. [c: Saelora]
  46. It is not polite to ask a being of any description the color of her underwear, not even hollows deserve that. [c: Saelora]
  47. Soul society's national anthem is not the ghost busters theme tune, nor is it any variation thereupon. [c: Saelora]

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Kumaoro Itomoto
 Posted: Oct 26 2015, 05:15 PM
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Thou shalt read the terms and conditions of anything Squad 12 gives out. <-- suggestion
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